NOTHING

Because i wanted to be happy.
But life seems to be so bad to me, that they never let me smile again.
In order to be happy,
i need to stop the pain.
And in order to stop the pain,
life must stop.



Day 1160,
I dont think i'm gonna have a good life in the future
I dont think my life is EVER gonna be better
It seems like everything's worsen
Nothing's right
and so am i

Everything is so hard, and as i grow older, i see nothing,
i believe in nothing,
I have nothing
and i'm just nothing

I'm not happy and im just a dark, dark hole that's never exist in anyone's sights
I want to stop crying painfully
i want to stop having a soft heart
I want to hate people as much as i hate my life
I want to hate everything as much as i want to end everything

Im the one who'll die right at the moment whenever i want to
so please just let me.
let me.
thats why i become so miserable and being an absentminded person

I want to be happy, at least just to heal the smallest wound.
But i know it's never gone and the big ones will come and leave a new painful wound to me


this is just a blank paper
i wrote on it
and there's never something
because i never mean it
thats true, i never mean it
whatever i told you
whatever i told everyone
i never mean it

when i smile
when i laugh that it seems to be so fucking funny
when i speak
when i make a joke
when i help someone
when i'm mad
when i cry
when i feel
when i fall
when i write
when i make a call
when i make a decision
when i make a promise
when i hate
when i love
when i feel bored
when i drink
when im hungry
when i want to eat
when i want to die
when i want to be happy
when WHATEVER IT LOOKS LIKE TO EVERYONE

I NEVER MEANT IT
BECAUSE IM JUST A FLAT,STRAIGHT PERSON WHO LOST HER LIFE AND SO MISERABLE INSIDEOUT AND BECOMING AN ABSENTMINDED PERSON WHO HAVE NO MORE HUMANITY AND NO BRAIN TO THINK AND NOTHING
JUST NOTHING

JUST

NOTHING.