Dear my loves.

I dont even know how to start.



Dear Mom, and Dad.

Why the hell i was born and so in love with ya? Why the hell i become so weak when it comes arguments between both of you? Why the hell i was born with mind that keeps telling myself to make both of you happy, but i couldn't? Why the hell i was born like this?

I want to be born, and be careless about everything. I want to stop overthinking. Things i shouldn't overthink, things i shouldn't care too much, things i shouldn't know.
I want to be an innocent one. I want to be a person who says "I dont know".
I want to be the one who doesn't care about other livings. I want to be the one who doesn't need to overthink about things i shouldn't.

Mom, Dad,
Without both of you, I knew i'd never born in the world as your only one daughter. Maybe, i'll be another parent's daughter.
Without both of you,
maybe i'll live in the worse family. Maybe i'll have no mom, or maybe i'll have no dad. Or maybe both.
I'm so thankful to have you, as my life's saver. God, you are so unfair. You are. It makes you unfair to us. Which is just fair to everyone actually.

If i wasn't born as your little daughter, I think you guys would have a peaceful life, you guys wouldn't have to live this tough life. And i hope i was never born, as your daughter. It always makes me feel bad, i dont think i'll be able to forgive myself.

Thankyou Dad, for saving me while i'm still in my mom's fetus. If you weren't there, i'm sure i wouldn't be here now.
But Dad, I'm so sorry for being born like this. I could never make you happy. I could never make you proud of me. Not even once. I'm so sorry. And if i could turn back the time, i hope that you would let me die in abortion.
Mom, i'm sorry for being worthless. I'm sorry for making you upset. I'm sorry for being rude.

You guys are the best. I dont think i'll be able to live without you guys.
Dear Mom&Dad,
I can't tell how sorry i am to be here.
I'm sorry to burden you all the time.
I wasn't the daughter you always expected me to be.
I'm bad, and i'm rude.

I'll never be as good as another daughter, i'm so sorry.
I always resists. I never appreciate both of you.
I always make you sad, and break ur heart by rude words i said. I'm so sorry, i'm sorry.

But in the end, i always want you guys to know, and never forget..
I love you, more than i love myself.
I love you, more than i love my soul.

God, promise me dont take them?
Take mine first, give it to him so they'll live longer.

I'll become an useless girl, who died suicide.
Just take mine first before you take theirs.

I work now. I work hard. Why?
I work for them. I dont want them to get sad, to work hardly, i want to repay them with my soul.
I'll do anything for them. I work a little job while i'm still a student, to lighten their burden.
 I never show you how much is my love. I wanted to, but.. dunno. I couldn't.

Please live long and happily. Danke for everything.
I'm so sorry for being so useless. And its all i can do. I'm still a teen and i can't help it.

I love you,

Mom, and Dad.

-Soul-