Im not an option.

Finally.
Its been a while since iv tried to give my heart to someone else.


I thought, i really could let someone else in. But then today i didnt think so.

So, i almost let myself.almost.
But then he told me something he should never tell actually, but well if he didnt, idk how fuckedup i'll be later when he tell me.
You better tell the truth and let everything happen. than letting someone think u'r serious n blahblah.

He told me he liked 2 girls.at the same time.
Which fo me, its kinda hard.

He told me the diff kinds of feelings :
"Suka" or just call it "kagum", he told me that "kagum bisa ke semua orang"
and he told me that "kalo sayang, itu dimana lu merasa nyaman"
Also, "tapi cinta,itu emang serius,dan rela lakuin demi kebahagiaan dia"

How could he liked 2 girls and loved 1 girl at the same time? shit!asshole!

You made me like an option! which u can choose!
We'r the girls n u be like : hey i liked u hey blahblah. with ur fuckin flirts.
And u did that to more than one person? like ew!

If u said u'r confused between her&me, choose her :>
Bcz i wont  let myself to be an option, i wont :>
U got no more time fo that, iv been so tired of loving. Im done,im quit.
U said u need time to choose? like, dont fuckin call me babe or somethin n say somethin cute if u'r gonna do that! SILLY YOU!

SUCH A FUCKIN DOUCHEBAGERS!
HATE YA SO MUCH BOIYZ


Dengan mudahnya, ia mengatakan : kau tidak mengerti, aku menyukai 2 orang. Tapi suka,sayang dan cinta itu hal yang berbeda. Apa aku salah? Bagiku itu hal yang wajar,karena suka/kagum itu bisa ke semua orang.

Kau tau? Bahkan dari awal saja aku hanya bisa mengagumi 1 orang dan membiarkan penantian ini berlangsung 9bulan. Ya, memang bukan apa-apa. Tapi aku merasakannya,aku merasakan bagaimana sulitnya menerima orang lain. Bagaimana sulitnya membuka hati kepada orang lain. Bagaimana rasanya membiarkan orang yang kau perjuangkan, memperjuangkan orang lain. Bagaimana rasanya melihat orang yang kau suka,menggenggam tangan orang lain. Bagaimana rasanya melihat dirimu merenungkan nya.
Bulan2 ini kujalani,tanpa orang lain didalamnya. Aku membiarkan diriku tertutup. Untuk hal yang bahkan ku tau sendiri bahwa.. kita memang hanya sebatas teman.
 
Pernah kah kau mengalaminya? Membiarkan orang yang kau perjuangkan selama ini, mengucap dengan mudahnya : kita memang tidak bisa lebih, hanya sebatas teman.
"Stop before starting", I still remember those words you told me when we were done.

WAT?
U SAID U WONT HURT ME?
FUCK.
U JUST DID DUDE.
so stupid.ar.


jt