Her.

She's been hurt,all this time.
And you judged her by saying she's a bitch, when all you see was seeing her makin jokes with boys.

In fact,she's cheerin herself from fucked up.
How can you tell her she's a bitch when u dont fuckin even know whats the reason? She tried fuckin hard just to get over "something", her heart keeps getting hurt, her brain keeps messing her mind by telling her that "HE" is different.
Another side,she's being forced to move. Move on. Just too simple to say,but too hard to do.
She's been fucked up. She didnt know what to do anymore to throw all those shitty feelings away.

Some of her friends said,
"Find another man,you deserves better than him",
"Y u'r so dumb? Please just stop being so pathetic. Do u think dat he's da ONLY man that exist in this world?",
"HAHA LOL r u fuckin kidding me? Look at how happy he's when he knw that u'r dying over him.",
"Look? u'r still thinkin of him and he doesnt even give a fuck just to look at u a bit!",
 "Its been 2015. U still cares fo those who didnt. and igrone those who did.",
"Stop being so dumb n weak at this",
"Billion guys u could meet,dude. Years that changes,Ages that changes, and its still him?",
.
.
.


Hey,its all about numbers dont ya think so? Numbers. And it wont change a thing. Do u think by the changing of numbers could change some FEELINGS? NO. BINGO.

Only time does. I believe that "time" could heal the pain. But well, the heal. Not the wounds.
Yeah,time did. But lemme say, everything needs a "sacrifice". It wont be exactly what you want it to be if u dont put some little efforts on that.

"I DONT CARE," "Iv had enough. Iv seen enough. I want to QUIT. I want it to END. I DONT CARE ANYMORE!",

"Ofc you do care","you care so much u feel as tho u will bleed with the pain of it."

She's been trying so hard,just to keep moving forward and forget everything that messed her up. She tried to accepts another man, but she never really can. Thinking that it will ended up with pain for others,also her, so she stopped. Because, forcing yourself to love another guy is sucks. when u still bein stucked to that ONE GUY. u can never really do that :'>

Why do i need to be hurt in wanting you? why loving you also means killing me?

 Sometimes,i feel bad on respecting others feeling. Telling others da truths dat kills em and will also kills you by hurting others,right?
I still dont understand why destiny allowed some people to meet when there's no way foe them to be together.
Pain, the pain u will feel when u get hurt. The pain that could change you into the "different" you. And she feels like she's gone,losing her mind,and losing herself in her own life.

Sometimes i just want someone to come and say : "Who did that to you? Who fucked you up so bad,emotionally,and mentally dat u'v completely shut down anyone who tries to help you. You let negative people in, u push kind people away.. U refuse to open up and let someone love/care about you. Just.. who the fuck did that to you?"

It takes months,to let go..even years..or even lifetime.I really thought i let it go. But in one sec,everything come rushing back faster than i thought as possible.
But in life, iv learned some things.

Yet the old one,yet the best one:
Seize the day. Makes our lives extraordinary.
                CARPE DIEM




-JT-